`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'` '` _-=Presenting=-_ '` '` -Drive-Thru Fun- '` '` '` '` '` '` Typed up for your enjoyment by The Kid '` '` '` '` Authors - The Kid and Lewd Po8 '` '` '` '`(c) 1992 The Kid '` `'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'` The person who invented drive-thru's should be hung by his balls until he repents (Too merciful, take a meat hook to his pubic bone and hang him till he bleeds piss -Lewd Po8)... I'm sick of trying to order a burger and having the "teller" say `Do you want fries with your chicken taco?' They must train the fast food workers to be deaf... And you think that in the age of computers, they have speakers that work.. Instead you hear `Tha at the ' Plus, they assume once people are done ordering that they must ask `anything else' because they just might want more... Soooo, this text file is designed for new ways of revenge upon the fools of fast food.. Notice, I said `new' not shit like yelling into the speaker and changing your order every time they read back your order. As far as I know, I have not seen any of these things in another text file. Equipment Required- Generally, all you need is the right kind of drive thru, and that's the catch... There are many methods of drive-thrus, I think the one used mostly is an underground sensor, but they vary, I have seen electronic eye type sensors, and there are drive thru's where you hit a button. The kind you need is one in which the sensor consists of a rubber strip that lays across the path of the drive-thru.. I have seen these mostly at NEW Burger Kings, the older ones have underground sensors or something, but I suggest checking out fast food drive-thrus in your areas, and find one that's shadowy, convienent, and contains the necessary type of drive-thru.... First of all, start with a few phantom orders. From the fast food tellers point of view, these are slightly annoying, but at two o clock in the morning and done a few thousand times they are going to get pissed off... How to do this: Okay. Take a look at that small rubber strip laying across the drive-thru (I'm trying to cut down. - Lewd Po8) . Impact senstive, just stepping on it will buzz the fast food teller... They will answer `Hello, may I help you please?' followed by a few hellos probably.. You will know when they `hang up' because the speaker will stop buzzing. When it does, step on the rubber strip again. Keep this up as long as you like.. NOTE: There may be camera survallience of the drive-thru line, so dodge out of the way after you hit the strip. Soon , the fast food worker or management will come out. Hit them with a few ink-filled balloons. Next, move the rubber strip out of the way of the cars. This will result in pissed off customers not getting any service. Do this a little before lunch hour. Eventually someone will come out and stop your fun, if you are daring, hit em with the ink balloons in full daylite... For maximum effect, pay them a visit at two or four in the morning (Or if they arent 24 hours, even better, hit em when they're closed.), and cut the rubber strip off, leaving nothing to signal the teller. The drive-thru will closed for who knows how long, and the fast food place will lose 50 - 100 bucks or more... Remember, there is always the chance of a camera, or even some dewd out fer a walk who might happen to see ya.. You're going to want a ski mask, or pantyhose over your head or something.. Conceal any scars and tattoos.. Cut the strip quickly then get the hell out of there... So far, I've said a lot about a camera being able to screw you over cuz they see ya... To gain revenge, or just if you're feeling destructive or something, locate the camera and hit it with a sling shot (Or a BB gun) then leave, fast. They might not get it replaced for awhile, so you can followup and wreak havoc on the night after.. (Lewd Advice : If you can find a camera, and a certifiably insane or high like me, strip yourself and wear your underwear as a mask. Then either moon the camera, or violenly mastarbate till somebody tries to stop you -Lewd Poet) It's not new, but it's a classic and no good t-file on drive thrus would be without it.. Drive up, and ask for a pizza or lobster or something. Make sure you argue for at least twenty minutes, and make sure there's five people behind you. They cannot do anything to you.. Some twists on this : Pretend to be hard of hearing, when they read back your order say something like `Eh, I dont want any damn sardines! I want a burger and fries. Are you deaf, young man?'... Have a epilepsy attack or faint in your car when there are twenty people behind you.. Misc. Ideas : Epoxy nails in the drive thru, put them at an angle so it will pop the tires... Drive up to the window without ordering.. Wait there like you're waiting for your order.. Leave a roadkill on the drive-thru speaker or in the middle of the drive-thru.. Lewd Po8's corner - Poetry Of The Month : To the tune of Nirvana's `Lounge Act' - `Jack Act' It's true, masturbation wasn't meant for two, but it's one of the things I do- Just watch attentively-a, I give you a command performance for free-a, cause- Chorus: I'VE GOT THESE HANDS YOU SEE AND THEY MAKE ME FEEL... AND I WANT IT MORE UNTIL MY FORESKIN STARTS TO PEEL, I MOLEST MYSELF, AND NO ONE ELSE, I GET RAW AND BLEED AND DEVELOP WELTS... Don't tell me my palms will sprout hair, I've already got hair there, I've got bruised genitilia, why woncha let me feel ya? Chorus Now, as I mash my little dicky, I get a self-inflicted hicky, with your hand that's hard to do, but I'll wash them when I'm through. Chorus TRUE! IT'S A HANDFUL OF FUN FOR ME! BEST OF ALL IT'S COMPLETELY FREE! YOU NEED NOT SPEND MONEY ON A WHORE -- JUST DROP YOUR PANTS AND CLOSE THE DOOR- Chorus Lewd Po8 Quote of The Month : Love is merely a veneral disease DISCLAIMER: I take no responsibilty for what Lewd Po8 says or does. He's the sick one, if you have a complaint, BITCH AT HIM! -The Kid ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- DISCLAIMER : Damage induced by this text-file is neither my responsibilty or fault. Support Freedom Of Information! Exercise your right to burn a flag today! (He meant burn a FAG -Lewd Po8) Later... X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X Another file downloaded from: The NIRVANAnet(tm) Seven & the Temple of the Screaming Electron Taipan Enigma 510/935-5845 Burn This Flag Zardoz 408/363-9766 realitycheck Poindexter Fortran 510/527-1662 Lies Unlimited Mick Freen 801/278-2699 The New Dork Sublime Biffnix 415/864-DORK The Shrine Rif Raf 206/794-6674 Planet Mirth Simon Jester 510/786-6560 "Raw Data for Raw Nerves" X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X