How to Piss off People in Cars !! WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE, YOU MAY H AVE DONE A NEAT TRICK CALLED THE ALASKAN ROPE TRICK. IF YOU HAVEN'T HEAR D OF IT THE PROCEDURE IS SIMPLE, REQUIRING ONLY FOUR OR MORE PEOPLE. ON A ROADSIDE WITHOUT STREETLIGHTS AT NIGHT, DIVIDE THE PEOPLE UP EVENLY INTO TWO GROUPS- ONE GOES TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STREET ACROSS FROM THE FIRS T GROUP AND BOTH GROUPS GET IN SINGLE FILE LINE. A LONG BRANCH IS NECESSARY T O GET THE FULL POTENTIAL OUT OF THIS TRICK, BECAUSE THE BRANCH SERVES AS A L EAD TO A FALSE ROPE THAT IS SUPPOSEDLY EXTENDED ACROSS THE ROAD. WHEN A CAR CO MES IN SIGHT, BOTH GROUPS BEND DOWN AS TO BE PICKING THE "ROPE" UP. ON A CO UNT OF THREE, BOTH GROUPS PULL ON THEIR BRANCH, AND THE CAR WILL SOMETIME S GET FREAKED OUT AND HIT THE BRAKES. COURAGE IS NECESSARY HERE, FOR THE NOW ANGERED PARTY WILL JUMP OUT OF THE CAR AND SHOUT OBSCENITIES. YOU HAVE TWO CHO ICES: ONE, YOU CAN RUN LIKE A BAT OUT OF HELL. TWO, YOU CAN STICK IT OUT AND HEAR IT ALL. MY PREFERENCE IS CHOICE #1 BECAUSE IF ANYONE IS GOING TO GET OU T OF THE CAR THEY ARE USUALLY A GROUP OF HUGE BADASSES THAT ARE LOOKING FOR A FEW TO KICK. SO WHY DO IT IF IT'S DANGEROUS? WELL, THE THRILL OF BEING CH ASED HAS FASCINATED MANY, ESPECIALLY THOSE WHO ARE IN THE MOOD FOR TROUBLE. TRY IT SOMETIME! FOR THOSE WHO HAVE DONE THIS AL READY AND KNOW WHAT THE ALASKAN IS, I TO THE ALASKAN, EXCEPT YOU REALLY HAVE A ROPE ACROSS. THE CATCH IS, THE ROPE IS ATTACHED TO TWO GARBAGE CANS AT EITH ER SIDE OF THE ROPE, AND ARE VERY MUCH MOBILE. WHEN A CAR COMES BY, ESPECIALLY ONE WHO HAS SEEN THE ALASKAN AND KNOWS ITS A FAKE, IT WILL HIT THE ROPE, SENDING BOTH CANS SPRAWLING AT THE DOORS, POSSIBLY DAMAGING THE CAR AND AN GERING THE DRIVER SEVERELY. THIS SAME TRICK WORKS GREAT WIT H SHOPPING CARTS, I HAVE DONE THIS AT A CONVENIENT SHOPPING CENTER WITH A BAC K THRU STREET BEHIND IT OFTEN USED ON SATURDAY NIGHTS. THE CARTS ARE ALIGN ED IN SUCH A WAY SO AS TO ROLL AND SMACK THEMSELVES INTO THE CAR. NOW, YOU 'RE SAYING THAT NO CAR IN THE RIGHT MIND WOULD TRY TO RUN THROUGH THE ROPE. SOMETIMES, YES, BUT THE OTHER TIMES, THEY STILL HAVE TO STOP, DONT THEY? A C ONVENIENT HILL ABOVE THIS THRU STREET MAKES FOR THE PERFECT LOOKOUT. ONLY NOW THE LOOKOUT BECOMES A BATTLEMENT. SEVERAL CRABAPPLE TREES LIE IN THE VICI NITY, AND ACCOUNT FOR NUMEROUS ATTACKS ON DRIVERS GETTING OUT OF THEIR CARS TO MOVE THE CARTS (OR GARBAGE CANS, WHICHEVER). IF YOU HIT THE CARS, OR DRI VERS, BE READY FOR AN EXCITING CHASE. NOW, WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU ACCIDENTALLY H IT A COP CAR? EASY. PREVENT THIS BY KEEPING A LOOKOUT FOR THE HEADLIGHTS. C OP CARS USUALLY HAVE DOUBLE HEADLIGHTS SO BE EXTRA CAREFUL IN DECIDING WHO TO ATTACK. A GOOD IDEA IS TO HAVE SOME FORM OF COVER IN CASE YOU ARE CHASED (T HE HILL ABOVE THE THRU STREET HAS A FENCE RUNNING ALONG IT, PROVIDING SUFFI CIENT COVER TO HIDE UNTIL THE GUY GETS OUT OF HIS CAR). WELL, THAT ABOUT WRAPS IT UP FO R NOW, IF YOU CAN THINK OF SOME MORE NASTY THINGS TO PULL ON CARS, WRITE A FILE!!! DO IT!! ********************************************** * OTHER NEET THINGS TO CARS * * By, * * Cpt Harlock * * For the phringe Philes sections * * 965-3677 * * * ********************************************** [1]. Take some brake fluid and a baster(a thing that sucks up juce) that you dont want any more and you fill it up with brade fluid you go up to your favorite cay and you write FUCK YOU all over it and the next day your friend goes to get into the car he eill notice that the paint will all be bubbled up and there is nothing he can do because the brake fluid sokes into the pores of the metel and if he tryes to paint over it it will still bubble up. the onely things that he could do is get a asid treatment to the metel or replace the part. [2]. Take a nice big hand full of vasiline and smear a little on the windsheild and spread it to all the other windows on the car the next morning he will see a pile of shit on the windows an the first thing he will do is try to wipe it off. BIG MASTAKE !!!!!! [ he will smear it even more and vasiline is practically impossible to get off curved glass ].