A SAYING FOR EVERY OCCASION, AND EVERY OCCASION FOR ITS SAYING Those Responsible: Doctor Hartley M. Baldwin, Owner and manager of System Enterprises Jose the Chaotic The Queen of Confusion The Administrator Raistlin Majere, Master of Past and Present The Borad Presto The Mad Hatter The Maylin of Karffel Norman Bates Captain James T. Kirk The DeathKnight With Excerpts from books by: Robert A. Heinlein Margret Weiss Tracy Hickman Paul Dickson West End Games Harry Harrison Douglas Adams And others Contained within this list are sayings that can make you laugh, which can make you cry, which can make you think. It is a product of the people who wrote it and contains a part of them. In this list you see glimpses of them. We hope you like it. ================================================================= You can't change the past so -- NO REGRETS Always keep your clothes and weapons where you can find them in the dark If everything seems to be going right, you obviously don't know what the hell is going on In a battle where there is no way out - take an honor guard with you to hell Life's a bitch - then you die Life's a bitch - but death is no picnic either Life's a bitch - to prepare you for what comes next Death before dishonor Always take the initiative Get your first shot off FAST. This upsets him enough that you can make your second shot perfect Take out the officers early. This disrupts an organized fighting force. If the force isn't organized, you don't have a problem The end justifies the means Death is inevitable. Go down fighting There is no conclusive evidence of life after death. Conversely there is no evidence of any sort against it. Soon enough you will know. So why worry? The easiest means of suicide is not using your weapons Might is right, but guile lets you live longer Kill 'em all and let God sort them out Anarchy Now! The most preposterous notion that man has ever come up with is that The omnipotent, omniscient, benevolent Lord God of Creation, Shaper and Ruler of all the Universes, wants worship and becomes petulant if he does not receive it. Yet this idea, without one shred of evidence, has paid all the expenses of the largest and least productive industry in all history The second most preposterous notion is that copulation is inherently sinful Always pack your own parachute Don't turn your back on anybody, especially your inlaws Never sit with your back to a door Always expect the unexpected - especially when you don't expect it The only sure thing is change Always have at least two backup escape routes Do unto others before they do unto you Corollary #1: Do unto others what they would do unto you but do it first Corollary #2: Do unto others what they have done unto you Do whatever you want - but don't get caught doing it I told Orville and I'm telling you, Wilbur, that danged contraption will never work Do unto others then run like hell Always try anything, except suicide, once. Twice if you like it, and three times to be sure Organized religion always has three main objectives. (1) To benefit the priests. (2) To benefit the government. (3) To always benefit the priests One ingredient for a happy marriage - budget the luxuries first All women are the same height lying down You can't be a little bit pregnant Make sure you have fun - because you never know when you are going to die We all live the same amount of time - from when we are born until we die. It's just the amount of memories that differ Certainly the game is rigged. Don't let that stop you from betting. If you don't bet you can't win Always listen to experts. They will tell you what you can't do and why. Then do it Any priest should be considered guilty until proven innocent All men are created unequal The truth of a proposition has nothing to do with its credibility. And vice versa You live and learn - or you don't live long In a family argument - if it turns out that you are right - apologize at once! Secrecy is the beginning of tyranny Beware of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors - and miss Yield to temptation - it may not pass your way again Natural laws have no pity Anything free is worth what you pay for it There ain't no such thing as a free lunch The strangest of all "crimes" that man has ever legislated out of nothing is "blasphemy" - with "obscenity" and "indecent exposure" not far behind Never trust anyone completely - especially yourself Chaotic evil means never having to say that you are sorry All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative Honesty is the best policy but lying is more fun Lie, cheat and steal to get what you want. If that doesn't work, try honest. If that doesn't work, blow 'em all to hell Expertise in one field does not carry over into other fields, but experts often think so. The narrower their field of knowledge, the more likely they are to think so Let's split up - we can do more damage that way Masturbation is cheap, easy, clean, and free of any possibility of wrongdoing - and you don't have to go home in the cold. But it's lonely The hardest thing to say in twenty-five words or less is goodbye If you love something set it free. If it doesn't come back, hunt it down and kill it Corollary: If you love something set it free. If it comes back, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never belonged to you in the first place Discipline is a means to an end, not the end itself Avoid making irrevocable decisions when you are tired - plan ahead In an emergency, junk any and all laws to save your ass Everything in excess. Take big bites. Moderation is for monks War is not dying for your country. It's making some other poor SOB die for his War is not hell. Life is hell Life is hell. War is worse Sex is the most beautiful, natural, and joyous thing that money can buy Vapors don't shoot back All laws are made to be broken (especially moral ones) Ever notice that laws are made "for your own good"? If you can't win honestly, cheat like hell If you attack a man, kill him. That way there's less paperwork In a fight, if at first you don't succeed, the hell with it There is no excuse for getting caught with your guard down If you get caught by a new trick, ok, but only fools get caught twice Fools die young Always remember: your ass is number 1 The best defense is a good offense. The reverse is also true Dead men tell no tales. They don't say anything else either Wounded men nark, so better dead than hurt Does history record any case where the majority was right? Don't ask what you can do for your country. Tell it what to do for you Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean that they're not out to get you Are we having fun yet? Ban the bomb: Save the world for conventional warfare Be yourself. It's a dirty job but someone has to do it Be sexy. It's a dirty job but someone has to do it Better dead than mellow Bombs don't kill people, explosions kill people Chaotic immorals have more fun Christians do it with grace A closed mouth gathers no feet Don't hate yourself in the morning. Sleep until noon Eat the rich. The poor are tough and stringy 43% of all statistics are worthless If they can't take a joke, fuck 'em Go lemmings, go! God did NOT create the world in 7 days. He goofed off for 6 days and then pulled an allnighter. I think, therefore I am (I think) If we outlaw guns, how will we shoot people? If voting could change the system, it would be illegal If not voting could change the system, it would be illegal If you eat a live frog in the morning, nothing worse can happen to either of you for the rest of the day Kick ass now, take names later Nuke 'em till they glow, then shoot 'em in the dark Peace through superior firepower If you think that sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it the wrong way Support free trade - smuggle There are very few personal problems that can't be solved by a suitable application of high explosives If it moves, kill it Is there life after death? Trespass and find out Nuke the Smurfs There's always time to party When fighting a horseman, kill the horse. A horseman without a horse is but half a man 42 Any place that you habitually return to is the place to be most wary of because that is where an ambush can be set for you The following statement is true : The preceding statement is false When swordfighting, a slash is showy and frightens the enemy, a thrust kills them quickly and helps form a wall (of bodies) for your added protection Death is every man's right and privilege Two's company, three's a menage a trois Sex is spiritual in essence - or it is a friendly exercise. The saddest thing about homosexuality is not that it is wrong, or that no progeny can come from it, but that it is harder to achieve this union I love everybody, and you're next Older men are chosen to speak wisely, but we call a child to a sacrificial rite I'm schizophrenic and so am I The best cure for a hangover is to keep on drinking Come back with your shield or on it As soon as you are born, you start to die You're not going anywhere but your grave When I want your opinion - I'll give it to you If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalks Only one of us is going to live through this, and it's not going to be me It's later than you think Damn the torpedoes - full speed ahead I did what I did. You don't have to like it Sex is only dirty if its done right I swear to God - I'm an atheist The only thing that we learn from history is that people don't learn anything from history Anything not nailed down is mine If I can pry it loose - it's not nailed down You've got to catch me first Can you say "death trap"? It's only common sense - which is why I feel you need to be told Paranoid schizophrenics always outnumber their enemies at least two to none Never tell me the odds The person who dies with the most toys wins The only difference between men and boys is the price of their toys World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones There's a fine line between being a hero and being dead If it sounds like BS, smells like BS, and looks like BS, it probably is BS Overpopulation is a problem with an easy remedy Anarchy would not work because the freedom of one would infringe on the freedom of others Anarchy would make humans a better race through survival of the fittest Anarchy would work because if you couldn't get along, you wouldn't have to The only good thing about the U.S. government system is that all the rest are worse Democracy is a good system - for beginners Hammurabi, an ancient Babylonian, wrote a set of laws which were basically an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. If you lie, your tongue would be cut off, if you steal your hand would be cut off, etc. etc. etc. You don't want to know the penalty for adultery Be prepared for the worst. If it happens, you're ready and if not, you're lucky If you fall off a horse, get back on and kick it If you suggest a new way to do things, and it works, act surprised If you're feeling good, don't worry - you'll get over it God fights on the side with the heaviest artillery Sticks and stones may break my bones but whips and chains excite me God helps those who help themselves so be greedy Life is too short to make big mistakes. Make little ones We all die after a while so don't rush it God created all so everything is natural Rigor mortis can't be too bad - no one complains Do unto others only if they are smaller than you Love spreads germs. We'll all get sick There's nothing that total destruction can't cure Those who live by the sword ain't shit compared to those with automatic weapons Curiosity killed the cat and an awful lot of rabbits Anything killed would have died eventually anyway Life and love are four letter words Sex has only three letters so it can't be dirty Not all four letter words are dirty - for example: BEER If it weren't for incest, you wouldn't exist Why? Conversely: Why not? Laws and flaws have the same structure There's no such thing as a pacifist male There's no such thing as a benevolent dictatorship Everyone is entitled to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness but that doesn't mean that they'll get them You're not paranoid. They ARE out to get you Never play leapfrog with a unicorn. Just for the hell of it - that's why Hindsight is wonderful. It tells you what you did wrong after you did it You can make it foolproof, but you can't make it damnfoolproof Nothing can be made foolproof because fools are so ingenious He who fights and runs away lives to fight another day You can't prove to me that you exist, and I can't prove to you that I exist, so we're even The longer you live, the sooner you will die He moved, that's why I shot him Juvenile delinquency is the things that the older generation did when they were young Any normal girl would rather by looked over than overlooked There are three things in the world that most men love but never understand: females, girls, and women It's not the fall that injures, it's the sudden stop You can't get anywhere unless you start People seldom know what they did until they try to undo what they did The world's greatest deeds are accomplished by men that are smart enough to know that it's impossible or too stupid to know that it's not Against boredom, even the gods struggle in vain Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic Ask a silly person, get a silly answer Beat your child once per day. If you don't know why, he will Blade runner for hire - have gun, will travel Blood is thicker than water - and much tastier Born again pagan Brute force, clumsiness, ignorance and superstition will always triumph over science Certified public assassin Chaos is King, and Magic is loose in the world Decadent Capitalist and proud of it A desk is a wastebasket with drawers Do you know where your towel is? Don't ask me, I just work here Don't ask me, I'm making it up as I go along Don't panic Efficiency is a highly developed form of laziness Exceptions rule! God is real unless declared integer Grab them by the balls - the hearts and minds will follow The hell with the prime directive - let's kill something He's dead, Jim Of course he's dead - I killed him He who fights and runs away gets shot in the back Hi! I can't remember your name either I'm not a trained killer. I lead trained killers I don't practice what I preach because I'm not the kind of person I preach to I have seen the truth and it makes no sense I may be a craven little coward, but I'm a greedy craven little coward I think I could fall madly in bed with you If a man writes a better book, preaches a better sermon, and beds a better whore than his neighbor, though he builds his domicile deep in the woods, the world will beat a path to his door to find out who the better whore was If it jams, force it. If it breaks it needed replacing anyway I'm not loafing. I work so fast I'm always finished I'm not tense, just terribly alert Immoral Majority Charter Member Incorrigible punster. Do not incorrige Indecision is the basis of flexibility In the beginning, God created the universe. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move It's not a dungeon - it's a fortified underground defense installation It's what you can't see that can and will kill you I've enjoyed just about as much of this as I can stand I've had fun before. This isn't it Knowing Murphy's Law won't help The less you bother me, the sooner you will get results Love thy neighbor, but be sure that her husband is out of town A mind is a wonderful thing to waste The moral majority is neither Mostly Harmless Murphy's Law only fails to work when you try to demonstrate it My life may be strange, but at least it's not boring Never let your sense of morals interfere with doing what you want to Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether Never sleep with someone crazier than yourself No good deed goes unpunished Oh no, not again Old mercenaries never die. They just go to hell and regroup Peace through superior swordplay Question authority Rampaging anarchist horde and floating beer party Reality is a hypothesis Resistance is useless if less than 1 ohm A small carafe of wine is illogical, immoral, and inadequate Smile - it makes people wonder what you're thinking Smile - it makes people wonder what you've been up to A Smith & Wesson beats 4 aces Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he'll have to touch it to be sure There is a difference between an open mind and a hole in the head There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another which states that this has already happened They'll take my sword when they pry my cold dead fingers off the hilt This must be morning. I could never get the hang of mornings Travel by tesseract. It's the only way to go 2+2=5.1314975. Please recalibrate your instruments accordingly Ultimate question research team Under the most carefully controlled conditions of temperature, pressure, food supply, etc., an organism will do as it damn well pleases Unicorns aren't mythical - virgins are Walk softly and carry a megawatt laser Wandering punster Warning: Whimsical when bored Why can't you be unique and original like everybody else? Why reason when insanity prevails The way to a man's heart is with a broadsword What could possibly go wrong? When all else fails, read the instructions When the going gets wierd, the wierd turn pro You can lead a horse to water, but if you can get him to do the backstroke, then you've got something You can not have a baby in one month by getting nine women pregnant You know better than to trust a strange computer You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on Action is what you don't take when the other guy is bigger Actions speak louder then words, but not as often. In politics especially Well, now what do we do? It's never too late to try again until you are dead There's no such thing as permanent Ever notice there's never time to do it right but always time to do it over? Why are we here and what the hell is going on? Everybody lies about sex Does your end justify your jeans? The light at the end of the tunnel is probably an oncoming train Because we like you! That's why... Never trust the facts Never trust mother nature Let's go Better late than never Ok I've got you now No you don't It's one of those days It's time to go home Never borrow anything - steal it Death is not an end - it's a beginning This is not funny It's only your imagination Morals? What are they? There's nothing stranger than life Mental midget Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely Everything I like is either illegal, immoral, or fattening If God hadn't wanted me to be paranoid he wouldn't have given me such a vivid imagination The importance of a question is inversely proportional to the chance that you will remember it The victor belongs to the spoils Everybody should believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink In a hierarchy, individuals tend to rise to their level of incompetence and remain there Life's a game which you can't win, can't quit, and can't change the rules When the going gets tough, the weak get screwed I stopped drinking, smoking, taking drugs, and having sex. It was the worst thirty seconds of my life I read that drinking, smoking and sex were bad for your health -- so I gave up reading The cult of Dionysus really had something going. On the holy days they got up, drank, partied, had sex and then fell asleep. The good part is that all days were holy to Dionysus Why be normal? Nothing will go wrong when you try to show what's wrong to the person who can fix what's wrong The good die young, so the evil have more time to do things The power of will without the direction of intelligence is a destructive power The army has two standard sizes - too large and too small I intend to go to hell Beware of loaning money to a friend. It can make him lose his memory Taxes are like golf. You line up on the green and end up in the hole Where are we going now? It's not over till it's OVER Anything so simple a fool can use it will only be used by fools Cocaine is God's way of telling you that you are too rich Tornados are God's way of telling you that there are too many mobile homes Death is God's way of telling you to slow down Who is this God person anyway? Tomorrow is a whole new day to fuck up Good grades, studying hard and being respected are side effects of alcohol deficiency I'm not as think as you stoned I am I feel great, and I don't kiss bad either What's a cubit Alarm clocks don't wake you up, they just disturb your sleep It is better to dare many things than to die never knowing victory or defeat Do nothing except what you must, but when you must act don't hesitate We are Citizens of the Outside. We have rejected the simplistic, boring, regimented, bureaucratic moral and ethical scriptures by which the people live. In their place, we have substituted our own far superior ones. We may move physically among them, but we are not of them. In order to accomplish our aims we must operate outside their barriers and well outside their rules Logic is an organized way of going wrong with confidence He who knows least talks longest Don't change color to match the walls. Look like you belong there and the walls will change color to match you Speak of the devil Anything you get free costs more than it's worth - but you don't find that out till later Anyone who considers protocol unimportant has never dealt with a cat A person who WON'T be blackmailed CAN'T be blackmailed If it's sinful it's more fun Being intelligent is not a felony, but most societies evaluate it as at least a misdemeanor It is far, far better to have a bastard in the family than an unemployed son-in-law Has it ever occurred to you that God might be a committee? "Cooperate with the inevitable" means "roll with the punch" - it does NOT mean stooling for the guards Shout at the devil Always save the last bullet for yourself Always give the other sucker an even break An enemy is never a villain in his own eyes. Keep this in mind; it may offer a way to make him your friend. If not, you can kill him without hate - and quickly Cheops' Law: Nothing ever gets built on time or within budget History does not record anywhere at any time a religion with any rational basis. Religion is a crutch for those not strong enough to stand up to the unknown without help. But, like dandruff, most people do have a religion, spend time and money on it, and seem to derive considerable pleasure from fiddling with it Any government will work if authority and responsibility are equal and coordinate. This does not insure "good" government, it simply insures that it will work. Such governments are rare - most people want to run things but want no part of the blame. This used to be known as the "Back-Seat Driver Syndrome" You can have peace or you can have freedom. Don't ever count on having both at once. When a place gets crowded enough to require ID's, social collapse is not far away. It is time to go elsewhere The greatest productive force is human selfishness Sin lies only in hurting other people unnecessarily. All other sins are invented nonsense. (Hurting yourself is not sinful - just stupid) Stupidity cannot be cured with money, or through education, or by legislation. Stupidity is not a sin, the victim can't help being stupid. But stupidity is the only universal capital crime; there is no appeal, and the execution is carried out automatically and without pity There is no such thing as "social gambling". Either you are there to cut the other bloke's heart out and eat it - or you're a sucker. If you don't like this choice - don't gamble The two highest achievements of the human mind are the twin concepts of "loyalty" and "duty." Whenever these twin concepts fall into disrepute - get out of there fast! You may possibly save yourself, but it is too late for that society. It is doomed Don't try to have the last word. You might get it If you have to join the army, shuffle papers or cut red tape I wanna die with my boots on Let's do it! Sayings are made by people who take common sense and add a lot of bullshit If you have to ask, you're not entitled to know If you don't like the answer, you shouldn't have asked the question Justice always prevails...three times out of seven An order that can be misunderstood WILL be misunderstood It's always the wrong time of the month No books are lost by lending except those you particularly wanted to keep You can get anywhere in ten minutes if you go fast enough Speed bumps are of negligible effect when the vehicle exceeds triple the desired restraining speed On a beautiful day like this it's hard to believe that anyone can be unhappy - but we'll work on it Old age is always fifteen years older than I am Blessed is the person who has reached the point of no return and knows it, for he shall enjoy living Blessed is he who expects no gratitude, for he shall not be disappointed Ignorance is no excuse The moment you have worked out an answer, start checking it - it probably isn't right If at first you don't succeed - blame it on the teacher When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate. When in charge, ponder If an experiment works, you must be using the wrong equipment Clearly stated instructions will constantly produce multiple interpretations It's always the other guy's fault The critical mass of any do-it-yourself explosive is never less than half a bucketful Capitalism exists in one of two states - welfare and warfare It's morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money If nothing can go wrong, something will anyway The only way to discover the limits of the possible is to go beyond them to the impossible If at first you don't succeed, transform your data set The gas can is mightier than the sword When a subject becomes totally obsolete, we make it a required course Out of two possibly effects, the undesirable one will occur Lemmings drown Sometimes the best law is no law at all However you vote, and whatever you do, someone will be out there telling you that you are: (a) wrong, (b) insensitive, (c) a bleeding heart, (d) a pawn of somebody else, (e) too wishy-washy, (f) too unwilling to compromise, (g) all of the above - consistency is not required of critics If there isn't a law - there will be What we call sin in others is experiment in us If you think the problem is bad now, just wait until we've solved it Entropy is always increasing Necessity is the mother of strange bedfellows Hide!!! If they find you, lie!!! Ask five people and you'll get at least six opinions If you're ever right, never let them forget it If a string has one end it has another end Whenever a system becomes completely defined, some damn fool discovers something that either abolishes the system or expands it beyond recognition Do not believe in miracles - rely on them Always verify your witchcraft Experience is in direct proportion to equipment ruined Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either The meek shall inherit the earth - in a six foot by four block If you can't remember, it's not important if it's good, they will stop making it Quality is inversely proportional to quantity How to get your face on a postage stamp: drop dead A "sin" is a belief different from yours In order to get a loan, you must first prove that you don't need it The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone else to blame it on Whatever it is, I'm not responsible Corollary: Whatever I did, I didn't do it If things were left to chance, they'd be better No matter where you stand, no matter how far or fast you flee, when it hits the fan, as much as possible will be propelled in your direction, and almost none will return to the source Just when you get really good at something, there is no need to do it anymore Seven-eighths of everything is hidden There are no winners in life, only survivors The idea is to die young as late as possible Mother nature is a bitch ...and even if it can't it might The number that is obviously correct will contain the error If it's obvious, it's not I am sorry, that is beyond your security clearance The computer is your friend On the rare occasion that something is successful, the wrong person gets the credit If two wrongs don't make a right, try three VYARZERZOMANIMORORSEZASSEZANZERAREORSES? If you're confident after you've finished an exam, it's because you don't know enough to know better A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants Never leave hold of what you've got until you've got something else Those who study the past find other ways to foul up If you can't beat them, have them join you Rule 1: The boss is always right. Rule 2: When the boss is wrong, refer to Rule 1 Our troops advanced today without losing a foot of ground Negative slack tends to increase If something cannot be put into something smaller, some dope will do it Nobody notices when things go right The rat race is over. The rats won Death shall not be denied I thought you silenced the guard! WHAT GUARD!? First rule of hiding: Don't be conspicuous Alternative theory: Be conspicuous. No one looks at conspicuous people. I'm not crazy, I just don't give a fuck Ronald McDonald says "Eat McShit and die" A pseudonym is a nym that's not your nym Dr. Mark says, "Go suck a sonic screwdriver" This paper has AIDS. Now that you've touched it, you have it too. You have two to five years to live. How do you feel now? Have a nice day What? Me worry? If you kill me, you're dead The living will envy the dead I'm not a genius, you're just stupid It takes one who has not to tell someone how much they have Lessons learned by suffering are often obscured by happiness With wisdom comes suffering, with suffering comes wisdom With everything there comes a price, even love Happiness and sorrow are extremes between which lies inner peace The explanation requiring the fewest number of assumptions is most likely to be correct The optimist thinks that this is the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist knows it Variables won't, constants aren't Don't look back, something might be gaining on you Nothing is ultimate The solution to a problem changes the problem If you're coasting, you're going downhill Never tell them what you wouldn't do Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed Stick with the following responses when dealing with the press: (a) I know and I can't tell you. (b) I know and I can tell you. (c) I don't know The easiest way to find something is to replace it Laziness is the mother of nine inventions out of ten Half of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at A little ignorance goes a long way Hell hath no fury like a pacifist Pacifists will fight to preserve peace Entropy has us outnumbered Learn to be sincere. Even if you have to fake it Do whatever your enemies don't want you to do If it can be understood, it's not finished yet A little ambiguity never hurt anyone The public is always wrong Go where the money is if you can't convince them, confuse them The easiest way of making money is to stop losing it If it happens, it must be possible A man without religion is like a fish without a bicycle If you're already in a hole, there is no use to keep digging They say an elephant never forgets, but what's he got to remember? Silence the heart, mend the soul, and clear the mind; then you will have inner peace Depression is a manifestation of a clouded mind A friend is one who can see you better than you can see yourself Discover the ultimate secret...the self Before judging another, look with his eye, feel with his heart, yearn with his soul True bravery lies in facing life Words are a tool that can soothe the soul or incense the mind depending on their use I am all that I have seen, all that I have felt, all that I have read, all that I have heard, all that I have experienced. I am I, I am all that I am, I am myself Life is a long lesson in humility Working because you want to is the best kind of playing Pay taxes greater than your apparent standard of living and declare income accordingly How to create a new and unusual invention: study what the most respected authorities agree cannot be done - then do it No born leader seeks command A commanding officer commands, he doesn't ask for votes Never appeal to man's "better nature". He may not have one. Invoking his self interest gives you more leverage A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity Find out what he wants - he'll geek I volunteered once and that's enough for a lifetime There are only four top subjects, the rest are sideshows: money, sex, war, and death. So which one do we choose? RIGHT! Heaven is as close as you will let it be To catch a thief, you set a thief Can you cite ONE case in which a killer committed another murder AFTER he was executed? When they're big enough, they're old enough and nothing can be done about it Death is an old friend; I know him well. I lived with him, I ate with him, I slept with him; to meet him again does not frighten me - death is as necessary as birth, and as happy in its own way Never tell the truth in mixed company Fiction is anything that has not necessarily happened yet Magic, like everything else, has rules Evil and Good are relative terms Downloaded from Just Say Yes. 2 lines, More than 500 files online! Full access on first call. 415-922-2008 CASFA Another file downloaded from: ! -$- & the Temple of the Screaming Electron ! * Walnut Creek, CA + /^ | ! | |//^ _^_ 2400/1200/300 baud (415) 935-5845 /^ / @ | /_-_ Jeff Hunter, Sysop |@ _| @ @|- - -| | | | /^ | _ | - - - - - - - - - * |___/____|_|_|_(_)_| Aaaaaeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! / Specializing in conversations, E-Mail, obscure information, entertainment, the arts, politics, futurism, thoughtful discussion, insane speculation, and wild rumours. An ALL-TEXT BBS. "Raw data for raw minds."